To: Brad Blackstone
From: Samuel Rajendran
Date: 12 September 2016
Subject: My Introduction
Dear Brad,
This e-mail serves as a purpose to introduce myself, my
educational background, goals for studying in this SIT programme and my aims
for the future. I’m R Samuel S/O Rajendran. I’m 23 years old, an Indian and a
Protestant by faith.
I graduated with a Diploma in Information Technology from
Singapore Polytechnic (SP) in 2014 before I went on to serve my National Service
(NS). During my polytechnic days, I was taught designing, programming and networking.
I was very much interested in designing and networking compared to
programming as I found it repetitious.
From a completely different educational background, my friends tend
to question me on why I’m into engineering (building services) when I could
easily get a course related to my diploma. I aim to be an engineer working
under the sector of the Building and Construction Authority (BCA) in Singapore.
I was always fascinated by this industry due to my father who used to be a
civil engineer. Thus, I applied and enrolled into this current course of mine
in SIT.
My goals are to do well in
every module taken in every trimester. I would want to upgrade myself both academically
and in my interpersonal skills. Communication is very essential in our everyday
life. I look forward to your next lessons to improve my communication skills.
I’m appreciative in learning your module, Effective Communication, which I believe
would nurture me as a person who would be preferred by companies that requires good communication skills
Thank you for taking your time to read my email.
Yours sincerely
Samuel Rajendran
Revised on 18/09/2016 (7:19am)
Thank you, Samuel, for this informative formal letter. You do a clear and comprehensive job of introducing yourself.
ReplyDeleteI have a few comments on your language use:
1) interested into >>> interested in
2) From a completely different education background, many... >>> (It sounds as though "many" are from a different background.)
3) My goals for studying in this programme is... >>> subject-verb agreement
4) I always look forward to your lessons to improve my communication skills. >>> This is only moderately since you have only attended on lesson so far. :)
5) protestant by faith >>> capitalization
6) I’m appreciative in learning your module Effective Communication which I believe would nurture me as a person who would be preferred by the society. >>> punctuation
I’m appreciative in learning your module, Effective Communication, which I believe would nurture me as a person who would be preferred by the society. (or at the very least, by companies that require good comm skills)